there's an entire store dedicated to lamps. it's called 'lamps plus' and it's full of lighting. there's also a store for grills called 'barbecues galore.' AN ENTIRE BUILDING FULL OF GRILLS. i want you to really stop and think about the planet you live on. mattresses! there's an establishment full of mattresses and another full of pet supplies and another full of toys and so many, many more places full of SO MUCH SHIT and i can't believe we live here! anywhere, really, but good fucking grief - a whole place full of LAMPS? i don't even know how to choose a lamp. i hate lamps. i promise, even in a store FULL OF LAMPS, i wouldn't want any of them.

i'll find at least 5 honest places in these suburbs if it fucking kills me. AT LEAST FIVE.

and then i'm leaving.