how i fail, pt 1

i tried to knit.i read the books and the people told me how to hold the yarn and I TRIED SO HARD TO BE PERFECT.

yarn is not for me. i feel like yarn respects me for the most part and i respect it, but no matter how many times they told me how to hold it or twist it or consider how it would look, weeks from now, in the end, NOTHING WORKED.

i gave up and then one day came across the bag of yarn and sticks and thought OH HI YOU ARE A THING I CAN PROBABLY DO NOW.

i was wrong.

i think i can never knit. i make my stitches too tight. i choose the wrong color and i can't read the pattern or do math (2+1=3 / 0+0=0 / 1+3=4) and i don't like friction.

but i wish so much that i could knit because sometimes i miss the way it felt in my hands and i think i could make really cute things.