feelings i am powering through, 1-3 of 10

1. i want it to be fall. i want it to be last fall. i want it to be last fall so i can do everything differently. i want it to be last fall so i can do everything the same. i want this fall to come and go quickly before i have a chance to fuck anything up. i want it to always be fall. i want it to be fall forever. 2. i can't write about this book. i don't know how to write about books because i've not read enough of them to know what i'm talking about. if i say that i don't know what i'm talking about, no one will want to read what i say about this book. if i act like i do know what i'm talking about, people will argue with me and tell me that i am stupid. i really liked this book but what if i do it a disservice.

3. no text messages. i am too nice to people. i care too much. i am too kind for these assholes. i will never be nice again. fuck everyone. everyone can kiss my ass. i hate everyone. i will never care again. i will never ever care again. i will wait an entire day before texting anyone else. i am not a doormat. i am too special to be a doormat. i am a doormat. i am stupid.