feelings i am powering through, 7-10 of 10

7. no one will ever love me and want to have sex with me at the same time. it will always be one or the other or neither. it will never be both. i am not as cute as people on formspring think i am. i am a bitch and that makes it hard for people to love me. i am not pretty without makeup and good lighting. people hate me when i say i'm ugly, so i can never talk about it. i can never talk about feeling ugly. sometimes i am an ugly, bitchy asshole of a person in a cave who is occasionally not ugly but it doesn't matter because i'm a horrible person in a cave. no one will ever love me. 8. i am a terrible sister. i am a terrible granddaughter. i never call anyone. i do not care about their lives and i don't pretend to care. i don't have time to pretend to care about their lives. i am a terrible person. there will be retribution for this one day. i am so selfish that i am more worried about retribution than i am about how my family members feel right now when i don't call them. i am a terrible fuck of a person. terrible.

9. i miss my cat. i am sorta glad my cat is dead. she was really gross and was a huge problem practically everyday. i miss her face. i was an awful owner. i should've known she was sick. i should've taken better care of her. i should not ever get another cat. i do not want to have another cat. i want a kitten right now. i want a puppy. i do not like dogs. i want a kitten. i do not want a kitten.

10. i am almost thirty. i have accomplished shit. i will die a nobody. i am almost thirty and the only life goal i have accomplished was oh my god i don't think i've accomplished a single life goal because i'm not sure i ever had any real goals other than 'go to college' and we know how that worked out. oh god. i haven't accomplished any life goals and i don't have any life goals to accomplish. i am a failure. i am a twenty-nine year old failure who is almost thirty.

more feelings i am powering through, 1-3 feelings i am powering through, 4-6