earlier (j)

draft from july 23, 2013, 10:46pm, untitled:

i miss you

i don't even know you and i miss you.

i never worried about you for some reason, because you seemed resilient and [bouncy], like the kind of thing that would've been whatever it was going to be with or without me.

and i wasn't worried about the you that would exist after he'd gone. i guess i felt like he'd imparted some sort of magical understanding or teaching, that would carry you through life. like he'd seen to that. the kind of thing you tell yourself/believe when everyone's looking.

the only thing i keep learning is that no one knows what they're doing, really.